A dreamer

My officemate and I went to this CD sale last Friday. Was able to buy a couple of CDs (100 bucks each :p)–The Best of the Gin Blossoms, Skin by Melissa Etheridge, Bounce by Bon Jovi (yeah I know—don’t remind me…friends, please be kind!), and All About Chemistry by Semisonic.

It’s only now that I realize why Zach (of Zach & Joey) loves this Semisonic album–it’s so damn good! Killer lyrics to the max The album includes old favorites like Chemistry, El Matador, and Act Naturally. I love this track called One True Love (pang LSS, hehehehe) but this song called I Wish describes best what I’m feeling right now (I’m sure my smart friends can read between the lines…sorry na lang to the less gifted ones, bwahahahaha!). So here goes…

I wish I could be anyone but the one that I am now
I wish I could see any scene but the one I hang around
I wish I could do anything but the things I always do
No matter how I try to sing along
Something is always wrong
What I wish I knew

I wish I could turn into somebody far, far away
I wish I could make myself satisfactory in every way
I wish I could know whether you really know what you need
If I could only be somebody else
I wouldn’t be myself
And maybe you’d want me

I can try to please you
Get down on my knees for you
Go outside and freeze for you
Swim the high seas for you
Whatever you need me to
I’ve been climbing the trees for you
Twisting in the breeze for you
But one thing I can never, never do
I can’t believe for you
I can’t believe for you
I can’t believe in me for you …

"I have been played for a fool by someone I thought was worth of my love and my time." Hay, the story of my life…sheesh…oh well… I’m ending this post with one of my favorite quotes from "My-So-Called-Life"–

"First admit it. That…I EXIST… That you have emotions, and you can’t just treat me one way in front of your friends, and then leave me some private note that’s the exact opposite." (Angela Chase)

(the content of this blogpost is what I REALLY wanted to write for the newsletter) 

I am a big fan of Jamiroquai’s first album. Seven Days in Sunny June is from their second (or is it third?) album. It sounds different from their songs on the first album. This one’s “groovier”. It sounds so happy…makes me want to dance (even if I don’t know how). Another reason why I love this song is because of its title–my ex significant other’s birthday falls on June 7 (you know—seven, June…uh, so there).

I’ve been thinking about my soulmate a lot lately. She’s been having a couple of really bad (and I mean REALLY bad!) days. I’ve been trying to come up with stuff to make her feel better, to make her smile–but somehow she just can’t get out of that really sticky web she’s caught in right now. My soulmate is a rainlover. She makes these rain wishes and she just loves those downpours. But lately, even the rain can’t lift her spirits up.

You know that Reo Speedwagon song, “In My Dreams”? Well, the first line of the song goes “there was a time sometime ago when every sunrise meant a sunny day.” The song’s right, you know–that was sometime ago, that was before–because nowadays, people are so cynical, so morose–people don’t have sunny days anymore

I don’t know where this article is going…I just felt the need to write–to think out loud…I should probably shut up now and just end this piece with some lovely quotable quotes I got from different sources. And to my soulmate–“Life has meaning only in the struggle. Triumph or defeat is in the hands of the gods. So let us celebrate the struggle.” When you stop fighting, you stop living. We all need that thing that’s worth fighting for–in this case, fight for your “life” soulmate!

“But now we speak with ruined tongues and the words we say aren’t meant for anyone, it’s just a mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance but there was once you. You said you hate my suffering and you understood and you’d take care of me. You’d always be there, well, where are you now?” (Haligh, Haligh, A Lie by Bright Eyes)

“My friend who sleeps on my lap loves someone else…we argue until he grows tired of talking and sleeps on my lap on this chilly night. And I sigh, knowing he loves someone else but still sleeps gently on my lap, innocent, not knowing that I am here slaughtering one wicked wish that when he wakes up I shall be his dream.” (He Who Sleeps On My Lap by Ronald Baytan)

“I’m starting to fashion an idea in my head where I would impress you with every single word I said. Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming and you’d want to call me and I would be there every time you’d need me. I’d be there every time…but for now I’ll look so longingly waiting…for you to want me, for you to need me, for you to notice me.” (For You To Notice by Dashboard Confessional)

"How’s your sunset? Mine’s beautiful. I wish you were here to share it with me." (The Lake House)

Sayonara.